


Would You Date A Fan?

by Holy_Leonards



Series: Queef and Friends [6]
Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Breakup, Crack, Electrocution, Knotting, M/M, Metal Penetration, Pon Farr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-10 15:13:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5591056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holy_Leonards/pseuds/Holy_Leonards
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick suffers a horrible breakup and goes back to the one man he knows can cheer him up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Would You Date A Fan?

“What be this?”

Queef had found out Nick's dirty little secret.

“It's just a memento to remind me of home.”

Of course it wasn't. Queef could see the bits of synthetic flesh on the blades. 

“You is a dirty fan fucker!”

Queef was right on the money. Lucky guess. Anyways, yes, Nick Valentine was a filthy fan fucker. In particular, a heavy metal fan. One that he has had since before the great war. He would have fucked it in his old body, but, he knew better than that. Now that he was all metal, he could fuck it with pure pleasure.

“At least the fan never broke my heart! Just my penis.”

Queef couldn't believe what he was hearing. Had Nick been cheating on him this whole time?

“I thought it was I who was your number one fan!”

“Nope, check out the bottom.”

Queef flipped the fan over and saw a number 1 painted on it.

“We through!”

Queef tossed the fan at Nick and ran off into the wastes.

“Ponyboy! You almost hurt him!”

But Queef was gone. Nick looked at the fan laying on the ground.

“At least I have you, ol' faithful.”

He picked up the fan and rubbed it against his crotch.

“Oh yeah! That's the stuff right there.”

He set it on a radiation scarred table and sat in a torn recliner. He whipped out a cigarette and lit it up. The smoke filled his synthetic lungs and he exhaled with the strength only a robot could have. Smoking was his way of calming his coolant. If it got going too hard he might get sent into a fit only describable as being like the Pon Farr from that nerdy shit Star Turk or whatever. Synthetic fits are not a force you wanna face. 

“We've been through so much together, you and I. No matter what new love I have you always please the most. Not even a human could out do you.”

Nick's eyes turned a cozy red as he stared at the fan just laying there. It was begging for him to take it to pound town. 

“My god you are beautiful. I cannot believe I could ever even think of experimenting with anyone else besides you. I think we should get married.”

The fan remained motionless. 

“How about we get a little romantic tonight, dear. We don't have that piss bucket Quiff or Quaff or whatever his face is. We can have a nice meal and an even better dessert.”

He dimmed his left eye at the fan. Then he got up and set a bottle of wine next to the fan. He pulled the old recliner to the table and just sat there and took in the beauty of the machine in front of him. 

“Your safety cage is like the lattice work of the gods!”

The fan blushed a little.

“I know, I know, I am a charmer.”

He opened the wine bottle and poured it all over the fan.

“Baby! Hot damn you look so good when you're wet!”

His penis was pressing to get out of his pants. 

“You're so shiny and curvy. Take me now!”

He whipped his detective trousers down and hopped up onto the table. He tackled the fan and started pushing his penis in and out of the safety cage. He was somehow getting it between two of the blades and wearing his synthetic skin fast. He has had to get it replaced several times because of these actions. The beauty of the wet fan was getting his coolant going to dangerous levels. As he was humping the old piece of machinery he noticed that the lights in the bombed out building were on. 

“Power!”

He got down off of the table, penis still in fan, and looked for an outlet. Electricity would be icing on the cake! He found one and thrusted the plug in so fast. The electricity caused his joints to spasm and he started headbanging uncontrollably. He was now the big metal fan. Anyways, he headbanged for, like, ten minutes until his head went down too far and he hit the low setting on the fan. The blades started turning and his synthetic dick got all twisted up in it.

“BZZZZAAAAAHZZZHAZZZZAAAHZZZZZAAAHHH!!!!!!!!”

He somehow managed to knock the power chord out of the outlet before anymore damage could be done. He looked down at his crotch and saw that his dick was incredibly knotted up in the thing.

“Where's Quiffo when you need him.”

He had to slowly untie his dick from the fan. It took him several hours. When he was done he found that his dick was almost severed. 

“I got to it just in time, eh? Well, it isn't your fault, baby. I still love you more than anyone else.”

He bent down and gave the fan a kiss. He then looked out of the window and at the wasteland beyond. He knew that his life would be completely different now. He would need to find Queef and use his luck to get the penis fixed. Or else he would have to live the rest of his life as “Nearly Dickless Nick”.


End file.
